Unique

We all are: DNA and genetics uniquely wired and having experienced different situations and encountered different people we view life through unique lenses. Yet we are all expected to fit into the same brick and mortar boxes and pursue the same Fairytale dreams of wealth, mortgage, family, a moment of glory in our own little fish ponds…

I was meeting a new friend for the first time out of the gym in a busy town. (Weird meeting people fully clothed and not sweaty for the first time!) Actually pretty much looked like below… As she approached she said, “I recognised you because you look different.” I joked along the lines of, “I think that’s a compliment!” but oh wow – is it!!

As a kid the playground seemed an alien world to me, full of unexplained and easily misunderstood rules (and all I wanted to do was cosy up with a book and read). I just didn’t fit in. Bear with me… these random stories have a point! As an adult the world was just as “grating” but I dutifully pursued the Fairytale path: education, career, marriage, bricks and mortar (never quite grasped the “obtain wealth” or wanted the “glory” parts!)… until I just couldn’t any more.

Goals of fitting yourself into boxes that aren’t your shape is not healthy!

Burnout, CPTSD, AuDHD, Eating Disorder, Perimenopause, Anxiety, Depression… call it what you will, I don’t care, I’ve had all these and more labels slapped on me in recent years (with little to no help) and many of the symptoms are the same. I do know that trying to fit my life into the boxes that Society’s Fairytale created for us when I was always shaped differently is just exhausting.

This isn’t poor me, or all doom and gloom I promise! And the things I have done have set me up with the skills I needed for pursuing the leather as best I can while I’m “in recovery” from whatever it is! Still, I don’t know what the answer is, and wouldn’t be capable of physically / mentally working consistently towards it if I did know..

But I do know that fighting to hang onto my uniqueness (and yes it’s been labelled weirdness, rebelliousness, freakishness and more) and sometimes wearing it with pride is also exhausting, but has somehow enabled me to keep a fingernail’s grip on my sanity through it all.

From my teenaged oversized leather / denim jackets (covered with patches), through my teacher black hair (sometimes with red streaks), my office dresses with my bike boots because I biked into work, and my various leather accessories and work bags with carved images that were special to me and helped remind me who I am.

Still a weirdo… (but now with red hair!)

These were often things that were eyed with judgement and suspicion, I was told to remove jewellery and hide my undercut at school and told I would stand a better chance of getting a job if I had “normal” hair or removed my nose stud. But hanging on to who I was in these small ways helped ground me and hang on to my sanity in some very stressful situations.

In a world that insists on labels and boxes: hang on to you. Hang on to your sanity. Wear your uniqueness with pride! Difference is what makes the world interesting and inspires creativity in others!

(And with all the fear-mongering, hate-mongering and division out there for goodness sake, live and let live – we’re all struggling with something!)

PS – The images above are some of the carvings mentioned above that have kept me grounded. If you want something custom carved that is grounding for you, contact me.

PPS – I want to apologise for that sales call, but hey, I’m also trying to survive in this inflationary world and having something to do helps keep me sane! So no apologies: Buy some hand carved leather: keep me sane!